Saturday, November 24, 2012

Surviving the Holidays as a Widow

***Thoughts from a new widow and getting through the holidays without them. I am writing this in the first person as I am the one going through the ordeal!***

How to spend a holiday after your loved one has passed. Interesting thought, right?  But it happens to all of us eventually and unfortunately.

You will find yourself out in left field, feeling like the world's worst third wheel.  BUT, after the third holiday, I found that the answer lies with yourself.  You will overcome!!!!  You have to in order to survive the years of holidays ahead of you.

You will get used to the fact that folks find it hard to mention the missing link in your life.  Bring him into the conversation whenever you can and they will realize that he is still an integral part of your life and always will be.  He needs to be remembered for what he was, the light of your life, your reason for being even if sometimes the road to paradise was indeed rocky.

You are probably spending these holidays with the folks you love most and who loved you both.  Keep that feeling alive as long as you need to.  They as well as you have many happy memories to share.  Don't hide those memories.  Keep them alive.

I am writing this on a lazy Thanksgiving afternoon and remembering how much my hubs loved his turkey dinner. We had one for this holiday as well as Christmas and most likely Easter, for 57 years. Do you realize how many memories you can accumulate in that many years?

For some reason folks find it very hard to verbalize the thoughts of a deceased member of the family, especially on a holiday.  So help them out, bring their names into the conversations.  They will appreciate it as they do not know how you will handle talking about him of her.

So, start enjoying those holidays with the spirit of your loved one right beside you as long as you need them to being you comfort and enjoyment.

Signing off and wishing you many happy holidays.


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